Skeleton In the Clouds

Hello, humans.

I was watching the new episode of Sherlock, but since it's almost midnight I had to stop to write. It's been pretty amazing so far. I love Sherlock because he's so clever and I like his sense of humor. I wish I had his deductive skills, but alas I'll have to stick to math haha (obvs jk).

Something bothered me today. There's a certain *someone* who has a sibling who looks just like them, and people can't stop comparing them. The sibling gets a lot of crap for not 'being like that *someone*' and I think that's really messed up. The sibling is just less publicly known than that certain *someone*, and it's their choice. People shouldn't be mean to them because they aren't doing what their *sibling* is doing. For God's sake, you don't even know them. Stop.

There's something I really like about the way my parents raised my sister and me. They never compared us to each other. For example, I love math, but it's not my sister's cup of tea (she's extremely good at it though). She doesn't want to compete in math because it's not something she enjoys, and she prefers baking and doing more creative things (she's a great baker by the way). Our parents have never forced my sister to compete in math or forced me to cook. Instead, they celebrate our individual talents. I really appreciate that.

What I want to say with this is that you should never compare people to other people. Each person is unique and special and no one should be forced to be like another person. Every person has something to offer, and no matter how 'insignificant' someone might think that is, it's important. This includes not comparing yourself to other people, too. You have your own talents and skills, even if you don't notice or downplay them, and they are as essential as anyone else's.

To illustrate my point, I'll give you a weird example. Imagine if the other organs told the liver to be more like the kidneys to the point that the liver started comparing itself to the kidneys and being miserable. It wouldn't be pretty logical or functional, would it? They both have different, but crucial, functions. If the liver spent all they wishing it could be the kidneys instead of doing its job, the whole body would suffer. That's exactly what happens with humans. If we have a horde of sad, unsatisfied humans, humanity also suffers.

You are immensely worthy. Never let anyone make you feel less because you aren't like someone else because your worth isn't tied to other people. You are worthy because you are yourself, and no one can take that away from you. Stop believing the lies that society tells you.

In other (cheesy) words, you have mass and take up space. You matter, my friend. 

Love,

Nan.

Moana Mini-Analysis

Hello, humans.

About three weeks ago, I went to see Moana with a friend, and I absolutely adored it. It is now my favorite Disney movie of all time (Baymax is still my favorite Disney princess, though). In fact, I loved it so much that now, without having read any reviews (only the Christian Spotlight one because that website is crap and I wanted something to complain about), I will write my own small analysis. It contains spoilers, so beware. It also contains Christian topics.

First of all, I'm going to say that the animation was marvelous. The colors, the texture of the water, the night sky, the spirits, everything was so aesthetically beautiful. I also loved that traditional Polynesian art was included. Then, there's the long shot of the scene where Moana is hugging her grandmother's spirit and the beautiful night sky can be seen in the background. That was, aesthetically, my favorite shot of the movie.

Now, let's start analyzing this movie's messages. First things first, Moana was not a traditional Disney princess. She wasn't even a princess at all, as she told Maui. Her body wasn't slim and her skin wasn't white. She had dark, thick hair and dark eyes. Her hair was awesome, honestly. Even though she had that annoying, signature Disney princess face (you know, the one every female lead since Rapunzel has had), she didn't stick to traditional, Western beauty standards. When we were going to watch the movie, my friend told me that she was glad that there was finally a princess who looked like her, with wavy hair and darker skin. That is very important because these characters are what children look up to as they grow up. It's easier for a child to relate to a character if it resembles them. 

I don't know how succession works in Motunui, so I can't be sure if Moana was going to become the next chief just because she didn't have any brothers. Regardless of that, she was going to become the chief of Motunui, and she wasn't facing opposition. She wasn't even being pressured into marriage. Men and women alike came to her for advice. People understood that her being a woman didn't make her less suitable for her role as chief and that she didn't need a man to rule beside her. Also, Moana's mom didn't die to give her a tragic backstory; I'm glad that we've gotten past the 'mothers are only plot devices' phase. It looks like Disney is finally beginning to understand that having a wonderful prince to love them is not every girl's ultimate wish.

Moana was extremely brave. When she was a child, she enjoyed her grandmother's scary stories, unlike the other children who burst into tears when they heard them. That courage stayed with her when she grew up. Who would have the courage to set out on a mission on the sea by themselves after they've been told terrifying stories about it all their lives? Only an insane Gryffindor like Moana. She was also incredibly strong. Even when Maui trapped her inside a cave, when some coconut pirates stole Te Fiti's heart, when she was alone and defeated by Te Ka, she didn't abandon her mission. Her courage did falter from time to time, but she always kept going. 

I love stories set in the sea because being alone in the sea forces people to pause reflect on themselves, and that allows people to grow personally. Also, this might be controversial, but I liked the role that they gave the ocean. The ocean chose Moana to return Te Fiti's heart and to redeem Maui since she was little. It waited patiently until Moana was ready to set on her mission, and it allowed her to choose whether she wanted to go. Then, the ocean helped her. When a storm came, resulting in a shipwreck, and Moana thought the ocean had betrayed her, she noticed that it took her to Maui. That's an awfully important detail because that often happens to us, humans. We don't know what God is doing and it seems like He has abandoned us when He has actually been with us the whole time and knows that He's doing. We should learn to trust God because at the end He will take us where we need to go. 

This movie also taught me that destiny isn't everything. Moana's destiny was basically saving humanity, but she was allowed to choose whether she wanted to follow her destiny or not. She is given many chances to give up throughout the whole movie. Sometimes, the idea of destiny isn't that pleasant. We don't want to be forced into doing something great because we are afraid to fail or because we simply don't want to do it. The truth is that destiny is a choice, and we only follow it if we want to. You shouldn't be pressured into doing something because it's your 'destiny,' but you shouldn't be afraid of it either. Everything will be fine at the end. Seize your destiny.

Maui was also a very important character. Maui was abandoned by his parents as a child, but he was rescued by gods that knew his true potential. This teaches us that some people who society deems as useless are actually very valuable. God takes those outcasts and shows them their worth. 

Maui struggled with insecurity throughout his life. He believed that by giving humans everything they asked for he would be loved by them. The problem is that humans are never satisfied, and they will always ask for more. Maui did everything to try to please them; he even sacrificed his own life when they asked him for Te Fiti's heart. When the humans noticed that asking him for the heart was a mistake, they blamed him, making him feel even worse. His desire for admiration was rooted in a deep insecurity that also manifested itself by his need for his hook. Maui thought that without his hook he was no one, but the truth is his worth wasn't defined by what he had; it was defined by who he was. A person is worthy simply because they are a person and not because of anything they have or achieve. 

The plot twist at the end of the movie conveyed a lot of meaning about a person's worth. Some people are treated poorly and told that they are a failure and worthless throughout their lives. After a while, they start to believe it. They grow mean and bitter and start making other people suffer. This same thing happened to Te Fiti. When her heart was stolen, she got furious and tried to take revenge on the humans by slowly destroying Earth. Humans ran away from her and feared her instead of apologizing and helping her, and that made the problem worse. Until Moana gave her her heart back and reminded her that that was not who she was, things changed. By remembering who we are, humans who are worthy of love, we will start to treat people with love too. 

Don't worry, I won't leave without addressing the elephant in the room: cultural differences. Moana's spiritual content bothered many Christians: the gods, goddesses, reincarnation, the ocean, and magic. First of all, watching a movie with mythology won't hurt your child's faith. If you're bothered by that fact you probably force them to go to Sunday school every week, so what they should believe must be very clear to them by now. We all know that most of the things we see in Disney movies are fictional, and if you say that to your child they'll believe you. News flash: not every culture's religion is Christianity. How do you expect the people of Motunui to know about Christianity if no one had told them about Jesus? Even now, some people haven't even heard about Jesus. Historically, people have always had the need to know how the Universe and humanity came to be, and the story of Te Fiti is just the people of Motunui's explanation. Cultures are different, not everyone is Western and white (not even Jesus), and that is not a bad thing. Deal with it. 

Before I end this, I would like to say a few minor things. I didn't like this movie's soundtrack very much, even though I loved How Far I'll Go (I love Alessia Cara). I thought that Disney throwing shade at themselves was pretty funny, like when Moana's grandma said she acted weirdly because that was what the village's crazy lady had to do and when Maui told Moana to not burst into song. Sebastian's revenge was funny too.

Overall, Moana was an excellent movie, even though it had some small setbacks. I would definitely recommend it. 

Love, 

Nan.

I Went Camping

Hello, humans.

Guess what? I went camping. Yes, what the actual heck. Are we talking about the same Nan? That Nan, camping? No way, never. At least that's what I thought.

Let me explain. I was at one of my best friends' house in Grecia (somewhere in CR), which, by the way, was absolutely effing awesome (I love her). Wait a second, I have to write about it. When I got to her house at around 11 PM we caught up because we hadn't seen each other in about a year. People, we truly had a lot to catch up on. We went to bed at like 2 AM, telling stories and reading some of the masterpieces we wrote when we were 12 (*cringes for three hours*). I loved it. After that we watched Fight Club (that movie is so weird what) and Sherlock (introducing her to the cult) and it was very fun. We also went to town, which was great because Grecia is a really nice place. I got to visit many new places and I really enjoyed it. We also ate some delicious pizza and watched Moana, the second best Disney movie ever (I promise to write about it later). Overall, I felt incredible.

Back to the point. On Sunday, I got a text from my sister telling me that there was a free spot available for the camp she was going to on Thursday. She asked me if I wanted to go with her. Of course, I hated camps, but, I mean, it was free. After pondering on it for a day, I said yes. I almost didn't go because I kind of had an emotional breakdown last Wednesday, but I plucked up the courage to go anyway.

The first day was hell. I totally hated it. They took away our phones and watches (I hid my watch so they couldn't take it, though). I was about to give up and ask to call my parents. The first night was also horrible because I brought a really light blanket and I almost freeze to death in the middle of the night. However, I decided to give the camp a chance. The next day was better, and it only went uphill from there.

It was so much fun, especially the pleito de pelos. I can't tell you what it is. You need to see it to understand it. It can't be explained, and it changes your life. The music was amazing. We even danced to it. The people were so funny and I laughed a lot (you all know how I feel about laughter). Even though I didn't like the physical activities and getting wet, it was one of the best experiences of my life.

On the first day, we played outside a lot. I didn't like it much. Well, I didn't like it at all; it was horrific. I was pretty down because of that. At night, we had a segment called club in which we danced crazily, saw a short sketch, and had a small sermon. Like we do after every club, we went to discuss some topics and it was very eye-opening. We were forced to go to bed, and the frozen hell started. I don't know if I'd fallen asleep, but during the night I was dying to go to the bathroom. The problem was that the door was locked, and I didn't want to wake up the entire cabin by opening it. I spent about half an hour worrying because I thought my only options were embarrassing myself by waking up the entire cabin because I needed to pee or accidentally wetting the bed (even though that has never happened to me). I tried to go and failed twice, but the third time I did it. Spoiler: nothing disastrous happened. It was just freezing cold outside. Terrified that someone would lock me out, I rushed to the cabin. However, I was stopped by something breath-taking, something magnificent: the night sky.

What people say about seeing the night sky outside of the city is true. I had never seen something so majestic in my entire life. Not a single cloud could be seen. The stars shone without being shadowed by street lights or clouds. I could see the place where the sky and mountains meet and it made the Earth look like a huge, overwhelming dome. The moon was full and reflecting sunlight like I'd never seen it before. My God, I am utterly in love with the night sky, but I'd never seen it like that. It was just like in the movies when a boy is waiting for his date at her house to go to prom, and when she comes out he is dazzled by her beauty. I was completely ready to propose to the moon and live with it forever among the stars. I wanted to be lifted up into the air and suffocated by the lack of oxygen in the stratosphere so that the last sight that hit my mortal eyes would be the moon and the stars of that night. After gawking at it for what felt like a short eternity, I remembered that I had to get back to the cabin before I was inevitably left to die outside. The next morning I found out that no one noticed I left so I could have looked at the sky for a bit longer. Falling asleep was terribly hard because my body was basically an ice cube. I sneezed like crazy but eventually fell asleep.

The next day was better. We had a bit of club time and then played an interesting variation of Capture The Flag using socks as 'bullets.' My team lost, but it was good fun. Then, we had a little pool and slide time (of course I didn't get wet because I would have died from hypothermia). In the evening we went to club again. My team (called murasaki) was in fourth place out of six teams, and that was good because we'd previously been last. Night feel and one of my new friends, fortunately, lent me a sleeping bag. I slept well.

The third day, we had a rally with twelve different activities. The team that finished them first was the winner, and guess who wan? MURASAKI. I had to solve a word search and did pretty well. We were all happy. Then, we had to fight for the first row at the famous pleito de pelos. The team with the craziest hairdos and the most original dance one. Guess who won again? MURASAKI. We got to sit in the first row at the pleito de pelos and it was the most incredible experience of the whole camp. After that, there was pool and slide time, and then we played some very fun games.

Something hilarious happened while we were playing. We started playing volleyball with a huge beach ball (it was way taller than me) that looked light but it could actually crush you. Unfortunately, a thorn poked a hole in it and it had to be taken away. We started playing normal volleyball and after a while, someone turned up with the humongous ball. They threw it at my sister's friend (she's like twelve) and she thought she could simply push it away. She was wrong. It hit her and she flew like a rag doll. It was hilarious and we almost die laughing, even her.

After playing games we had a party, really. We danced to bachata, salsa, merengue, even Turn Down For What (what year is it, again?). After that, we went to a special, Hawaiian-themed dinner. It was awesome. Then we had club and a campfire and blah blah feelings ew.

The last day was bittersweet. The people who organized that camp paid lots of attention to detail, and the farewell was really cute. We took pictures and went to club. We talked about our experience at camp. Then, we had a little snack and left. Our parents met us at a gym and we had a special time to tell them about camp and about Young Life, the group that organized it. We even danced to the sasamanga.

The sasamanga is the second best song in the world (the first one is Quitamancha, obviously) and the mega-superhero Rambo Norris uses it to train. Rambo Norris is Cosi Norris' brother. After dancing to the sasamanga your life will never be the same. These are the lyrics:

O-ma che che

Che che core

Saaaasamánga

Manga

Manga

Manga

Don't even ask, please.

The camp was amazing and I'm grateful that I was given the opportunity to go. If you ever have a chance of going to a Young Life camp I really recommend it, personally. I met lots of people from many different backgrounds and had a life-changing experience.

By the way, sorry for not writing in so long, but I was kind of busy, as you can see. I'm working on a Moana review and a short fiction piece, so you can look forward to that (yay).

Love,

Nan.

P.S. I left out a huge and kind of funny story that I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell you because it involves another person.

Why do I even write like someone was reading, literally nobody reads my blog.

A Trip Down Emailmory Lane

Hello, humans. Sorry for the lame title.

Today I was looking through some of my oldest emails, in other words, I had a cringefest. Oh my God. I can’t believe what I did as I child. Just looking at those emails, oh no, it makes me want to bury my head 10 feet underground. 

Some examples:

-I sent my friend’s email address to another friend so they could meet and we could all hang out together. 

-I asked my crush about their crush and offered to send them their crush's email address.

-I told my crush that my friend (who didn’t know them) had nicknamed them ‘little dwarf.’ Then

they started calling me ‘dumb gnome’ aww<3.

-I told that same friend who didn’t know my crush to not tell them that I liked them.

-Another crush didn’t answer my messages on Facebook so I sent him an email complaining.

I’ll stop before I throw up. I shouldn't be allowed to go outside or partake in any human interaction whatsoever. Oh, dear. The only comfort I have is that hopefully, those people don’t remember any of these situations. If I didn’t even remember them, how could they, right? Haha *sweating*.

However, there were also some good memories. I read some of the nice emails that I sent to my parents and friends. I also read my conversations with a person who was close to me but I can no longer talk to. I almost shed a tear reading those. I had so many mixed feelings. It’s sad that I’m not there anymore, but I’m happy that I got to live those memories, even if I didn’t appreciate them then.

Gosh, I miss those days. I didn’t overthink so much and my life was way more simple. It’s not like it is extremely complicated now; it’s just that everything was so easy back then. I could just watch TV and be on the Internet without worrying much instead of having so many feelings inside of me that it feels like I’m having my entrails crushed. I wish I could go back to 2011 and the years before that when my mind wasn’t constantly racing and I enjoyed the holidays because it actually felt like I was taking a break. Now I’m just exhausted. Well, well, time to stop now. It's getting too dark and deep haha.

What I would like you to know is that you should never take anything for granted. When I was younger I didn’t appreciate the simpleness of my life, but now I dream of going back. I don’t want you to look to the past and feel that way. That’s why you should remember that even the smallest of joys is incredibly valuable. Be grateful for those simple moments of happiness. You don’t know if a year from now you’ll be desperately gripping on the memories that you are creating now to keep going. I don’t mean to scare you because I know that you’ll be fine, but I want you to fully enjoy happy moments. That’s what gives you hope of a better tomorrow during your darkest times. 

Love, 

Nan.

This was very hard for me to write.

Comparing People And Worth

Hello, humans.

I was watching the new episode of Sherlock, but since it's almost midnight I had to stop to write. It's been pretty amazing so far. I love Sherlock because he's so clever and I like his sense of humor. I wish I had his deductive skills, but alas I'll have to stick to math haha (obvs jk).

Something bothered me today. There's a certain *someone* who has a sibling who looks just like them, and people can't stop comparing them. The sibling gets a lot of crap for not 'being like that *someone*' and I think that's really messed up. The sibling is just less publicly known than that certain *someone*, and it's their choice. People shouldn't be mean to them because they aren't doing what their *sibling* is doing. For God's sake, you don't even know them. Stop.

There's something I really like about the way my parents raised my sister and me. They never compared us to each other. For example, I love math, but it's not my sister's cup of tea (she's extremely good at it though). She doesn't want to compete in math because it's not something she enjoys, and she prefers baking and doing more creative things (she's a great baker by the way). Our parents have never forced my sister to compete in math or forced me to cook. Instead, they celebrate our individual talents. I really appreciate that.

What I want to say with this is that you should never compare people to other people. Each person is unique and special and no one should be forced to be like another person. Every person has something to offer, and no matter how 'insignificant' someone might think that is, it's important. This includes not comparing yourself to other people, too. You have your own talents and skills, even if you don't notice or downplay them, and they are as essential as anyone else's.

To illustrate my point, I'll give you a weird example. Imagine if the other organs told the liver to be more like the kidneys to the point that the liver started comparing itself to the kidneys and being miserable. It wouldn't be pretty logical or functional, would it? They both have different, but crucial, functions. If the liver spent all they wishing it could be the kidneys instead of doing its job, the whole body would suffer. That's exactly what happens with humans. If we have a horde of sad, unsatisfied humans, humanity also suffers.

You are immensely worthy. Never let anyone make you feel less because you aren't like someone else because your worth isn't tied to other people. You are worthy because you are yourself, and no one can take that away from you. Stop believing the lies that society tells you.

In other (cheesy) words, you have mass and take up space. You matter, my friend. 

Love,

Nan.

New Year's Eve Parties and My Favorite Book Of The Year

Hello, humans. 

Yesterday, I went to a New Year's Eve party with my paternal family. Dancing salsa and merengue was very fun. There was also a karaoke session, but of course I didn't participate. The food, courtesy of my uncle (and other people, but I don't know whom), was delicious. My sister baked two cakes (she's a great baker), a carrot and a chocolate (with a bit of orange) one. I had some of that chocolate cake and it was great too. We tuned in to Radio Reloj for the countdown, like we do every year. It's really weird because after the countdown finishes they play the Costa Rican National Anthem, so that's the first song I hear every year. After that it's usually reggaeton, so at least that's not the first thing I hear.

I had to write a lot of Happy New Year  messages for my friends, so I spent a good portion of the party writing them. Having to pour your heart out for a message is very weird after you've repressed your emotions all year haha. I was able to do it without dying, luckily, and I received a good reaction overall. Most of my best friends low-key ignored a post I wrote them on our Facebook group, but that's okay because I know they're not the most expressive people in the world, just like me. Really, you could write me a book about how much you love me, bring the Moon down to Earth for me, name a planet with intelligent extraterrestial life 37839 light years away after me, whatever, and I'd still be like oh cool thx ily. It's just the way we are.

After midnight I went to another party with my maternal family and spent some time with my cousins and her friends. We didn't spend that much time there because it was kind of late, but it was okay.

New Year's Eve was nice. Fortunately, I didn't feel bad. I was able to keep my cool, and that's a great improvement for me. I'm getting better.

I hope you had a good New Year's Eve and New Year's too. What did you do? How did you feel? Tell me in the comments if you want to.

In other news, my favorite book of 2016 iwas A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. This book follows the story of two Afghan women, Mariam and Laila, over a period of almost 45 years. It's really well told and written. Both protagonists come from very different backgrounds, but end up in the same hideous situation, which is very interesting. It's also very realistic and unexpected. I even thought it was a true story because many horrible things happened. 

What was your favorite book of 2016? Tell me that in the comments too haha. 

Love,

Nan.

2016

Hello, humans.

So, 2016 is coming to an end and we're all hoping that its ill luck won't follow us to 2017. It was a crap year for the world in general: a narcissistic businessman with no political experience whatsoever was elected president of one of the most powerful countries in the world, there were various devastating tragedies (the crisis in Aleppo, the Otto Hurricane, and other terrorist attacks and natural disasters), Brexit happened, and we lost many popular celebrities. However, there were also good things (honestly, I had to look them up): the war in Colombia ends with a Peace Treaty, America (the continent) is declared measles-free, Fidel Castro died, gravitational waves were detected, and the Giant Panda is no longer endangered.

Personally, it was a good year for me. Things finally started to get better after four years of hell. I started going to a new school and it was a wonderful change. I met amazing people and learned interesting things. I also won two national gold math medals this year, which is a great triumph for me because I love math. I ALSO SAW COLDPLAY LIVE, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? IT WAS SO UNREAL. 

This year showed me that there's hope and that feeling better is possible. Of course, I'm not completely well yet because I developed my issues over many years, so they can't all go away in just a year. I'm slowly but surely getting better. 

In the past years, I've dreaded New Year's Eve, and this year is no exception. I'm not gonna lie, my anxiety is killing me as I type. I'm trying to stay calm. Why do I get so anxious at the end of the year? Probably because it is a reminder that time is melting away and that the past if gone forever. I really miss the past because I feel like it was better, and I'm terrified of the future. What if I go back to feeling like crap? What if I've actually never left and better is just an illusion? What if next time is worse? When will I crack? I have loads of horrible doubts and if I keep thinking about them I'm going to pass out. However, I need to remember that they're just worries and that nothing is certain. Why does the future have to be bad? I don't know what's in store for me; it might be good. There's no need to be afraid. 

Next year, I'm going to start the IB Program. That is scary as heck, but it's also exciting. I'll hopefully develop useful skills and learn new things, if what the IB people say is true. I'll also have many opportunities to travel abroad because of math. Some cool stuff will happen, probably.

I'm grateful for everything that happened to me this year, even the bad things. I have no idea what's coming, but I know I'll be fine. I hope I don't get in trouble for saying this, but 2017, come at me, bro.

I wish you all a wonderful 2017.

Love, 

Nan.

Here are some pictures of my best memories of 2016.

This awesome new gang, and many more people (I love you all). 

Chicago.

This museum <3.

The day I died, went to Heaven, and unfortunately came back.

Accurate description of how I felt during the concert.

The best state amirite. 

Guns & Roses (SLASH).

The final was very fun. 

Yeah, this happened :)