old digital cameras are “trendy” now. i saw a video a few months ago of a girl who had found an old camera and started recording her day as if it was the 00s. it looked blurry, indeed, like a memory. god bless the dreamlike quality of old recordings.
when i told him i had dug out our old camera last year, my dad wanted to watch the footage in it. the girl in the video was playing in the sand, the remnants of crashing waves glistening in the sunset. her hair was heavy with seawater and she whipped it back with a swift movement of her neck. the highway to the beach hadn’t been built yet, so the driving there took a long time. only five more songs left ‘til we get there, my father told me. when we were returning home, the songs seemed shorter. he said it was because time passes slowly when you’re excited for something.
on one of those thousand trips to the beach, we stopped at a restaurant. it was a generic establishment with wooden toucans hanging from the ceiling and varnished tree trunks for tables. we always went on vacation when my aunt and her family visited. she was sitting next to me, shaking a plastic bottle of coke. be careful, i told her, you’re going to spill it. she set the bottle down and opened the lid a little bit, carefully. don’t worry, i’ve done this for years, she replied.
fast forward a decade, and my other aunt was preparing a tuna pasta salad because i told her i had a craving. i was far from that marble countertop, however, in the sea that was a few miles away from the place we had rented. the open sea was menacing, and i was swimming towards a mirage. i was so lost, but i hadn’t noticed.
yes, the terrible shipwreck of ‘18. i roll my eyes as the phrase crosses my mind. it was very serious to me then; i shouldn’t joke about it now.&
the sea, my aunt’s loving hands as she prepared the food. a candlestick of loving memories that melted into the woman i am now. lost, but never alone.
i can’t wait for the day when i won’t spill coke all over the table.
*****
hey.
it's been a while since i posted here. last time i shared one of my pieces, i was still in pure math, and with a very heavy heart. flash-forward almost five years, and i am about to get my degree in statistics! only one more year.
i am planning to post more here, but not as much creative writing. i haven't completely stopped writing, but i want to save a few pieces (which i've written here and there) for a bigger work. i am thinking of a novel title el labrador y los mangos. that reminds me that we had to say goodbye to avellana this year. my heart hurts, but i digress.
i plan on writing non-fiction here. research is my passion, so i would like to write some small essays. my next topic is george washington carver! very specific.
see you soon (i hope)!
love,
nan.
