Monday, August 24, 2020

Mi capullo

Estímulo: Describa el lugar que más le gusta o que más odia.
 
Metida en mi capullo, las sábanas me acarician la piel como pétalos. Me sostiene el firme colchón, y bajo mi cabeza se encuentra la más suave almohada. Estoy bajo tres capas de tela que me protegen del mundo exterior. El cuarto está muy frío, justo como me gusta. Al principio no disfruto congelarme, pero una vez que mi calor se queda atrapado entre las cobijas, estoy verdaderamente a gusto.
Este es mi lugar favorito en todo el universo. Me encanta estar acostada en mi cama, lista para dormir. Me gusta que puedo pensar en paz, ya que no tengo que preocuparme en sostener mi propio cuerpo. En la cama me siento cuidada.
Con una sonrisa me vuelvo al otro lado y la luz amarilla de mi lámpara ilumina el resto del cuarto. Primero veo los libros en la repisa doblada por el peso. Tantos títulos familiares, tantos recuerdos. Entre los libros también veo muñequitos y discos que me alegran el corazón.
Bajo la repisa hay un espejo de cuerpo completo. Ese espejo está un poco sucio y viejo, pero cumple con su propósito. Lo que me gusta de esta pieza es que tiene adherido un pequeño mueble con llave. Ahí guardo las cosas más íntimas que tengo. Principalmente tengo mis cuadernos con escritos y dibujos, entre otras cosas secretas.
Frente a la cama tengo el sillón lleno de almohadas y ropa. Mi mesa de noche también está un poco desordenada, con libros y demás artefactos. Dentro de la gaveta hay más desorden.
Veo hacia arriba y en el techo se encuentran las pequeñas estrellitas que mi madre con mucho cariño pegó ahí. La estrella más grande se ve como la cabeza del cometa. Es interesante que esa estrella también se vea como la decoración de la camisa de un niño sin pelo que forman las demás estrellas más pequeñas. Ese simple torso me cautivó desde pequeña, aunque es un dibujo simple.
Apago la lámpara y me vuelvo al otro lado, hacia la fría pared. La siento con las puntas de los dedos y oigo el viento de afuera. Aquí adentro estoy segura, y me siento feliz.

*****

Espero que esta pequeña pieza les haya gustado. Me costó escribirla porque he estado teniendo problemas de depresión. No obstante, estoy feliz de que la logré escribir. 
 
Con amor,
Nan.

Clases de Taller Literario

Hola, humanos.
Les aviso que empecé un curso en la universidad que es un taller literario. Como tarea, debo escribir cada semana. Entonces, estaré publicando aquí los escritos una vez que la profesora me los revise.
Estoy muy emocionada porque la autora es Anacristina Rossi, y a pesar de que no he leído sus libros, sé que es una autora reconocida en Costa Rica. ¡Estoy muy feliz de que me diga comentarios tan bonitos! Mis compañeres son muy buenes escribiendo, también.
¡Espero que a ustedes también les gusten mis escritos!
 
Con amor,
Nan.

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Día Internacional de la Madre Tierra 2020

agua
si algo somos
somos de agua,
sangre de la tierra 

cae plat plat
sobre los ríos o
los mares o
los lagos o
corre hasta el centro
y se une al acuífero 

luego extraemos
con mil vías el plasma
que ya envenenamos 

si algo somos
somos de agua
y nos estamos desangrando

***** 

fuego
somos el vidrio quebrado
que en el bosque han olvidado
 
somos la llama y de antemano
todo el gas metano

somos el mismo culebrón
que nos ha mordido el talón

y por más de agua que seamos,
vivos y vivas nos quemamos

*****

Hola, humanos.
Estos dos poemas los escribí para conmerorar el Día Internacional de la Madre Tierra. Deben ser leídos en pareja, ya que se puede decir que son poemas hermanos. Espero que les hayan gustado. 
 
Con amor,
Nan.

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Charm Me

Meeting you was looking at the full moon in a starry sky. Your light hypnotized me. Under your gaze, my soul trembled, and your mouth captivated my heart with its lips and smiles and laughter. Suddenly, I was an ocean wave and gravity made sense. Adventure called. You were a wonderful forest waiting for a daring wanderer.
Then I sensed the warm depths of your bosom, and I knew I wanted to drown inside of them. Better yet, as our plainness washed away with knowledge, I learned how to breathe in your infinity. That was when I asked you to tell me the most crucial secret.
“Tell me, how can a man win your heart?”
Your look was one of mischief. You grinned and rolled your eyes. “The gentleman should charm me, of course.”
“And how could he do that?”
“For one, he should be charming. Goodbye, I am running late.”
Like that, you left me alone with your smell, that sweet scent of pearls. And, of course, a quest. One that took me half a decade to complete, but now we are here: you, me, and this rose.
And death i think is no parenthesis
The paperback was shut and beside me were a pair of dewy, fluttering eyelashes. Was my lady upset? I knew she was not when she sat up and went straight to my lips.
A slow, miniature dance of softness. You taught me how some kisses should be whispered. Your heartbeat against my chest, and you tangled your fingers in my hair. Then, with my hand cupping the back of your neck, I turned you over and gave you one last, small kiss.
The sun’s rays hit your eyes and they melted into pools of honey. Your cheeks were a faint shade of pink. Once again, I understood how beauty was invented.
When I produced the rose from behind me, your plump lips curved discreetly into a crescent. I held it to your sweet button nose, rose smelling rose. Then I tickled your lips, making you chuckle. Your rosy cheeks followed. Suddenly, the flower was an explorer in lands of milk and honey. As I gently outlined your figure (breasts, waist, navel), your laughter chimed like a bell announcing service. I answered the call, a devotee to your sighs, and kissed you again.
Once the dance was over I looked into your chamomile eyes. You raised your hand and cupped my cheek, caressing it with your thumb.
“I love how the afternoon sunshine kisses your face, darling,” she said.
I knew that in her eyes I was also full of wonders. Her look assured me that, as she was the queen of my every lovely thought, I was the ruler of hers. Oh, to be loved as much as one does.
“Can I assume, then, that I have successfully charmed you?”
She giggled. “Consider me charmed.”

*****
Hello, humans. 
Started writing again because we're being held captive by COVID-19. This piece was inspired by Heath Ledger because I love that guy to pieces (specifically A Knight's Tale and Candy). It also contains a line from ee cumming's poem since feeling is first.
Yes, this is very cheesy, I know, but cut me some slack! I'm trapped in my house, thinking about Heath (and others hehe sshh). Writing is my only escape, even if it is fan fiction-esque. Hope y'all like it.


Love, 
Nan.

Monday, August 5, 2019

Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity

“You should have seen the food, mister. That glorious, juicy pork and turkey with the best gravy I’ve ever tasted. Oh, the softest rice, the buttery potatoes, the squash, the carrots, the baked eggplant, delicious. I’d never made a feast like that. Damn, I was so proud of it. And I would’ve been prouder if he had been there, but sadly, he didn’t get to enjoy the wine. Actually, nobody did. You see, I don’t drink, mister. Well, and I guess the guests didn’t enjoy it, right?” she laughed.
That was such an eerie gesture, knowing what one officer had testified a few months ago. I played back the recording of that afternoon for her to hear.
Your Honor, the scene was gruesome. It kept me up at night for weeks.
Can you please describe it to the Jury, officer?
Sure. Well, the bodies had their heads down on the table. They were left there just as they had dropped. Their mouths and the area around them was covered in, uhm, vomit. Their eyes were still open. She hadn’t touched them. As I said before, they were still in their chairs, and that woman was sitting right in the middle of the table, crying and eating a turkey leg. Around her were about thirty corpses, Your Honor. She minded them as much as a child minds a broken toy. She’s out of her damn mind!
“Objection, improper lay opinion!” she shouted as she paused the recording.
“What?” I asked her.
“That’s what my lawyer said next. Come on, I obviously remember the trial, mister. You don’t need to play it back to me. Yes, I left a mess, but I was heartbroken. None of them turned out to be him!”
I looked at her, astounded, because she clearly showed no signs of remorse. She had confessed to murdering thirty men that night, and many others on different occasions.
“But, listen, you killed a lot of people.”
“Yes, but it was all in the name of love.”
“What do you mean?”
“You have the recording of my trial; I bet you must know what I said!”
“I don’t remember that, though.”
“Let me refresh your memory,” she replied.
“When I was ten years old I had the dream. There, lying in the arms of the man who I knew was the love of my life. How did I know that, mister? Because of how I felt. It was passion, mister, a warm and overwhelming passion. He would love me forever and I would too. The connection could never be denied!
“We were on a hammock at the beach, watching the sunset together. I couldn’t see his face because I was facing away from him, but my hand touched his softly. Then, all of a sudden, lightning crashed down on the sand and I felt as if my soul had gone out of my body. I dug my nails into his hand. Right after that I repeated again and again that I was sorry, and I didn’t notice that the man hadn’t even winced. I looked down and saw that there was no sign of a scratch. And then I understood: we were both made from the same mold, so we could never hurt each other physically. I instantly woke up and knew that all of that was true in real life, beyond the realm of dreams. Mister, that’s when I made it my mission to find him, because we were meant to be. And I knew that when I found a man I couldn’t hurt, he would be my soulmate.”
“And you didn’t mind killing people because of it?” I asked.
“Mister, it was all in the name of love. Of course, the first few times it wasn’t deadly. I remember my first accident: a brown-haired, sweet-eyed boy. We were in the fifth grade, and one day I got him to play alone with me in a forest that was close to our school. I took a tree branch and pretended to scratch him by accident. He bled, and I was, oh, so sad. Mister, I felt so desperate that I exploded in rage and hit him on the head with a stone. He stopped breathing, the poor thing. I threw the rock far away, wiped my hands on my dress, and went back to school because recess was almost over.
“You see, mister, I was a well-behaved and excellent student. When the boy went missing, no one suspected me. They found his body, but the case was never solved. Couldn’t find a person of interest, they said. That’s what always happened. It’s incredible what a good reputation can do.
“From then on, I had similar experiences with every boy I had feelings for. As time passed, mister, I figured that it would be faster if I just chose a random group of men and tried to hurt them all at once. That was until the banquet, my beautiful, genius banquet, went wrong.”
I watched her in awe as she narrated her story without the smallest of flinches. It was obvious that she felt that every death was a mere casualty in her quest for love. Her aura pulsed with madness and restrained anger, and I seemed to gravitate towards her incredibly consuming energy.
I now understood why she was sent here. Though honestly, at the same time it all felt like destiny— like all her small actions, her quietness, her calculations, everything had led us to this same single cell. A shiver went up my arms.
“You are not like the other patients,” I stated, “because I can still see someone in your eyes.”
“Yes, that’s because I’m not crazy.”
“Of course, a woman as smart as you would never go to jail. That story sounds so believable.”
“Excuse me, are you saying that I lied, mister?”
“Well, people would surely believe it. Female serial killers are rare, and they are easier to explain if their reason for killing is a man. A woman’s nature isn’t violent, unless love is in question.”
“Shut your damn mouth!”
“Sure, but when I look into your eyes, you’re still there.”
“Yeah, that’s the problem. I’ll never find him here!”
“Quit it, you know he’s not real.”
I wished those words hadn’t left my lips, because as soon as they did the devil was set loose. The room darkened, the air around me got cold. Her eyes were fire, her expression a shadow. Her shoulders went down and it seemed as though all the hairs on her nape stood on end. She was a black cat curling up. I ran towards the door of her cell, hearing her feet hitting the ground behind me.
A couple of guards tried to help me out, but her nails were already on my arms, on my chest, on my face. She was foaming at the mouth, clawing like a rabid, hungry rat. I shut my eyes, and not seeing her was a relief. Actually, it was too much of a relief, because I couldn’t feel anything.
My partners pulled me back and shut the door. I landed on my bottom, heaving for air. The apparition and I both looked into each others’ eyes, then down at my arms, then up again, and the fury in her complexion suddenly melted.
There was not a single scratch.

*****
Hello, humans.  
This is a little piece I wrote using a Tumblr writing prompt. It's been a while since I've done one of these, and the last one SUCKED. I'm sorry.  
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this snippet. I've been accidentally starving you hehe. Even though I should ~technically~ have a lot of time to write, I don't. Writer's block rocks. If you have any ideas or requests, I'm completely open. See you in 388493 months. 
 
Love,  
Nan. 

Monday, May 27, 2019

Unreal

In this world dreams don’t come true and continuity is the only constant until the only certainty- Death.
Breathe in to fill your insignificant lungs with empty oxygen. Do it. Travel aimlessly through Time, your coveted jailer. Shackled to Saturn’s swift rings, you might as well enjoy the view.
Well, only if the dark void that existence really is could be called a “view.”
There’s no other remedy, use your imagination. Collect some cues from your environment and interpret them as well as you can. Reality is nothing but the waste product of neural processing.
Begin to worry when your brain realizes that the information that you receive from your surroundings is not realer than the one from within your own mind. In your head both sources are tangled to produce perception. Of course what’s considered “normal,” or “functioning” is when the quantity of processed information from the outside is greater than the one from within.
The problem arises when your psyche adds more than allowed to the mixture. Then, psychosis proliferates within consciousness. You are locked inside the plane that your own mind created. In there the rules change, and what is considered impossible is now happening.
You don’t need food, no water, no sleep. That’s amazing, really. Here you finally have the time to hear nothing but your own voice. The internal monologue that rips you apart.
Inside the void, your shredded remains float violently. The kingdom of physics is far away from here. Like guts in a hurricane, you fade away.
That was the long way of saying I don’t feel real.

*****

Hello, humans. How's life going?
In my case life is good, but I'm depressed. Yes, usually by this time of the year my beloved Holiday Depression© subsides, but due to the fact that life has decided to repeatedly punch me in the face for a while now, it has apparently been elongated. How great. I wrote the text above in a moment when I felt like I was losing myself. Actually, it's been quite long since I wrote this one, but I don't really have the will to do much lately. Proofreading and coding and posting seems so daunting. Yeah, and I'm working on a longer story now, so expect it sometime. Hehe.
By the way, don't worry about me. My disorder is being treated professionally, and honestly, even though my mental state is a disaster, I'm coping. I'm even talking about it, which is a HUGE thing. It sucks, but it's there. I have no other choice than to deal with it bravely, as hard as it may be. I hope that all of you ill nuggets are at peace with your thing, too.

Love,
Nan.

Monday, December 31, 2018

2018

Hello, humans.
I really didn't want to write this because I have no energy to do anything lol. My brain power is completely drained from IB and Cambridge Admissions. I'm just doing it because I've done it for two years haha. Well, let's get on to it, shall we?
OK, so the good things that happened in 2018, yeah. Ethiopia and Armenia are taking crucial steps towards freedom. Not using plastic straws finally became mainstream. Rapists are going to jail. The Thai soccer team got out of a cave they were trapped in. The homosexuals™ are no longer illegal in India. A diverse US Congress. Hurray, 2018, you had good things. Whatever.
Oh, and I FINALLY FINISHED THE IB. I'll miss it, though. It was fun, even if I lost about 57 neurons in the process from stress and lack of sleep. Geez, my brain is still trying to recover. I'm getting my grades on Thursday. Yikes, I'm quite scared. It will be nice to continue complaining about it, though. Once an IB kid, always an IB kid *a small tear runs down my cheek*.
I WENT BACK TO ENGLAND. Yes, yes, yes. AND FOR AN INTERVIEW AND EXAM AT CAMBRIDGE. Wow, it was so surreal, and AWESOME. I'll be getting the results in about two weeks. Got a good feeling about it, though. Jesus Christ, I'm growing up.
Well, I'm 18 now. Legally an adult. Only legally. I can drink and drive now, too. Of course not simultaneously, sillies.
Remember I said that my New Year's resolution was finally doing something about my mental health? Well, guess what, I DID IT. Best choice of 2018, tbh. Turns out I'm bipolar and anxious. That sucks, but at least I know what sucks now lol.
Yeah, it was an ok year. Not too bad, not too good. A lot of growth too. Feeling more peaceful, less evolution and chaos. Nice one.
And of course I'll say what I always say. 2019, come at me bro. See you at Cambridge :)
Best wishes and strength for 2019.
Love
Nan.

Here are some pictures of my best memories of 2018.

Pun intended









 










GIUSEPPE MA CHE FAI




















EGMO TEAM GO GIRLS


CARDUMEN DÍA DE LOS MUERTO 11/10
















Mis nerdos y nerdas <3

















LionKim <3

















SENIORS (I'll miss them)
















Luci






















Tesoro de Recuerdos <3
'




















  Happy New Year everyone!